Since learning about "Blissdom", I have done nothing but teeter back and forth about whether or not to attend. At first I was all gung ho and set to buy my tickets...then I realized one very important detail that I had overlooked. It fell on my Anniversary weekend. I had not even noticed!!! I'm pretty sure I would have reamed my husband out had this been his oversight so I couldn't help but feel like I needed to prepare a speech for the "worst wife of the year" award I had just managed to win. But he was super sweet about me forgetting the date in which we committed ourselves to each other and God. He even told me that if I really wanted to attend this conference of Blogger Brethren, he would support me fully and we could make alternate plans. Either I scored big time when I managed to snag this mans heart OR he too has already managed to forget this all too important date at some point over the last 11 years and had mercy on me. I think it's the former.
After praying earnestly about this trip I never could feel quite at peace about going. Even with my husbands support and prompting. And then it happened and I knew Blissdom wasn't in my future for 2010....Haiti. Once I saw the devastation I knew I was supposed to donate the money I would have spent to attend the conference. And then...peace came.
I won't lie...it wasn't easy knowing that so many of you, that I have literally come to know and love here in the blog world, were gonna be playing in my own backyard without me. Don't think I didn't think about Jennifer, Melissa, Edie, Ruthanne, Darby and so many more that I have
managed to become infatuated with grown to love. Maybe God knew I needed one more year to lose the "starstruck" mentality and decided to spare me much embarrassment over drooling over Edie's cupcakes or begging Melissa for one of her cute camera straps or Jennifer having to peel me off her leg as she heads back to the Frozen Tundra or asking Ruthanne to show me her lenses and for Darby to explain HTML coding to me just one more time time ...or heaven forbid The Nester having to call security! Yeah, I may need a year to mature. My husband has already promised me that I will be getting Blissdom tickets for Christmas this year and I cannot wait! So lookout ladies....and get your restraining orders ready!
Although I couldn't attend the "Blissdom" here in Nashville, I realized this weekend that I had in fact attended Blissdom of another sort...eleven years of marriage to my best friend. This man...what can I say. No one can make me laugh or cry like this man...no one has ever been given the access to my heart the way he has. We have a huge passion for one another even still today...sometimes that plays out in heated arguments (just keepin it real here)...sometimes it plays out...well, you know. :-) Either way, we fight...we fight passionately for our marriage....for our family...for our love.
Without digging too deep into our story, I will tell you that we have hurt each other deeply in the past. We loved each other deeply but when we were hurt, we hurt each other in defense. It was a horrible coping skill that we walked into marriage with...along with a U-Haul truck full of baggage. Within our first year of marriage we were separated and seriously debating divorce. But then something amazing happened. God humbled us to a place of complete surrender. We knew we didn't want to lose each other...we knew we didn't want our children to live in the broken homes we had grown up in...we knew we needed help. My husband surrendered his life to Christ soon after, we attended counseling, fought the hard fight of forgiveness and restoration...and this weekend we
ate ridiculous amounts of cheese and chocolate fondue celebrated 11 years of marriage.
I can hardly believe it myself. And I can hardly stand how much I love this man. I give God all the glory for where we are right now. We had managed to run our marriage into a deep, deep ravine....God pulled us from the wreckage and taught us how to love again and place our affections and trust in Him first.
I love you Adam....always have...always will.
"Grow old with me, the best is yet to come."
I'm linking this post up to Blessed Moon's "Not at Blissdom" blog party. Be sure to check it out!
"And whatever I do, may it always bring glory to you"