Sunday, May 24, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Be sure to head over to visit McKMama, the creator of NMM, and read about her life with her "Many small children" of them just happens to have worldwide fame. :-)

  • I am NOT blog negligent lately!!!! Nope!

  • This week Adam and I took the kids to see the movie Earth at the movies...we were the only folks in the entire poor husband got up to get more drink and to take Aidan and Mag to the bathroom and lost his footing about 7 steps up still...literally rolling down to the bottom landing on his back like a dead cockroach...I most certainly did not go back up to my seat (after making sure he was ok of course!) and LAUGH MY REAR OFF!!!!

  • I do not secretively take the slightest pleasure in seeing the poor faces of those that fall victim to gravity...that moment in their face when they realize they are going DOWN does not bring me the least amount of pleasure! No that would make me a horrid horrid human being.

  • I do not have a 6 year old little boy that has an issue with walking in his sleep and relieving himself in random places!

  • I have not been envisioning my poor husband and his "movie mishap" in my head all week and breaking out into fits of laughter.

  • I have not totally fallen in love with running because if you know me that would be about like watching an intoxicated gazelle running through the African plains...and it would not make the least bit of sense knowing that I am prone to do things like this...and if I had in fact defied all of the codes of law that I assume runners have (you know, like..Thou Shalt Not Look Like A Flailing Gazelle when attempting to Run....and Thou Shalt tape your boobs to your chest as to appear to have none Support the Girls Properly) and actually find myself hitting a 3 mile trail (only to run about .5 mile of that) it would not in fact be because of these ridiculously friendly feet freaks that fit me into the most ridiculously comfortable shoes ever to grace my feet!!

  • I did not in fact need Ortho inserts in my snazzy new running shoes because I have "collapsed arches"....because if I did I'm thinking my next stop would be at Publix to pick up some Geritol.

  • While vacuuming this week I did NOT become too lazy to move the dog's bed....I did NOT just vacuum around the dog bed....and I did NOT hear "What about under there mom?!?!" only to realize that my 6 year had obviously deemed himself supervisor to my vacuuming responsibilities. Sheesh!

  • When I am on stage singing, I have a wire that attaches to my in ear monitors on one end, and a wireless pack on my pants at the other end.....when I have to go to the restroom I obviously have to disconnect the cord as to get my pants down....I did not this past week go to the restroom and get back on stage during rehearsal....start tugging at my wire to get it plugged back in ...only to find that I had zipped it up in my fly and the cord was sticking out of my zipper in the front!!!!!

  • Ok, this one is all about confession....that's what we're doing here right??? This IS a safe place right??? Boy, I hope so. Although I do not watch Sex and the City (not judging or implying anything if you do...just my own personal choice) I DID once upon a time....SO when I saw that the Finale was airing as a rerun the other night, I simply could not resist the chance to see Big come in and whisk Carrie away from the deceitful, not attractive in the least, little Russian guy. So what did I do? I set my DVR to record it. When my 13 year old discovered his mothers hour of smut tv this show in our "my recordings" section, he said "Mom there is a BAD (keep in mind the title which is all he saw) show on the DVR and I promise I didn't record it!!!"...I did NOT completely lie and say, "I have no idea why that recorded just erase it son."

  • THEN, I did not see said show a few weeks later about to air again on rerun....set my DVR to record it....and remember a few nights later when I was up late that I had it to watch....go into "my recordings"....only to find that my son obviously needs his DVR privileges revoked because the little obviously a lover of all things honest unlike his mother booger had erased it AGAIN!!!! I give up.

"But I will be Faithful in small things.....not neglecting what's right in my hand.....and whatever I do....may it always bring glory to You"

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