Sometimes life...real life...needs me more.
Sometimes the ever changing needs and seasons of children growing up requires more time...more attention.
Sometimes God opens new doors and brings new opportunities...and they need more time...more attention.
And in the chaos of trying to be everything to everyone...I only manage to feel like I am failing at all of it.
In July I felt God asking me to lay down my blog for a while.
Ouch.
I needed to be reminded.
Ouch.
I needed to be reminded.
I blog because moment by moment, memories are being made...and I want to remember...not be remembered.
I blog because I want to capture every moment I am given with my children...not capture an audience. {If I do...I am truly grateful...but not the goal}
I blog because clocks tick without permission, memories scramble in my mind with age, their faces change, their voices change, they grow taller and taller and I cannot stop any of it...only purge every detail here while I still remember.
I blog because every now and again, He gives me something to say...and I am to be obedient in sharing.
I see things like "stats" and "hits" growing...
My inbox fills with offers to write and promote and join...and I am tempted to please the masses...
Maybe I should this...or maybe I should that...I could do this to draw more...or I could start doing that to make my blog more....
Please do not get me wrong or take anything I am saying out of context.
I am so grateful for every momma blogger out there that is able to consistently blog or make a career out of blogging.
I have formed some of the most precious, genuine friendships through the community of bloggers.
My life is all the better because of their willingness to share their wisdom and engage with their readers.
Not to mention my decor.
But so often I have to be reminded...this is not what He has asked of me in this season of my life.
It is not the calling He has placed on me.
It is not to be my focus.
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Tonight...my house is in order...His blessing is on this...it is time.
So forgive me as I break the golden rules of blogging...1) apologizing for being absent so long 2) sharing way too many pictures. 3) writing more than a couple of paragraphs 4) confessing how much I have missed sharing my mindless ramblings with you all. :)
This.....this is why...in this season of my life....I blog.....
Because there are moments I catch a glimpse of my daughter's faith...and it takes my breath away.
Because my youngest child turned double digits...and requests cupcakes and orange juice for breakfast...and I oblige because he is my baby. Poor kid...he doesn't have a clue that I'm never gonna let him leave.
Because even though he's double digits...he still falls asleep in my lap...and I never want to move.
Because my four legged child likes to lay on the air vents...and take them with him. We call this Bo's bling.
Because we make a summer list...and check things off.
Because even at 36 you're not too old to wear braces...again.
Because this exact view has been a yearly tradition for the past 9 years.
Because the kids are older now...and we get to sip our coffee on the beach at sunrise...alone.
Because sometimes...if I'm lucky...a seagull flies into my frame...at just the right time.
Because there is never a dull moment with these three.
Because hot cocoa at The Donut Hole is also tradition.
Because having a teenager means having date night at the beach. ::please refrain from all metal mouth jokes::
Because sometimes they aren't looking...and I catch them...having fun...together.
Because I catch my 12 year old daughter reading Kisses From Katie...for the second time...and I feel terrified/excited/happy/humbled/inspired/terrified...all at the same time.
Because I find a picture of said 12 year old on Instagram and the air is sucked from my chest because I see the stunning young woman she is becoming.
Because she paints things like this...and I think...how on earth did such a talented, passionate, artistic, being ever come from my DNA???
Because we are homeschooling through high school...and Advanced Biology is a beast.
Because my 16 year old gets to do cool things like cadaver labs {yes, real cadavers} at Lipscomb University...followed by lunch dates with mom at Chipotle.
Because at 36 I've not only decided to correct what my 12 year old non-retainer wearing self did to 3 years of orthodontia...but I've also decided to radically change the way we eat in our home.
Because a new way of eating means a new kind of date night. Healthy is sexy.
Because 7th grade leaf collections lead to roaming the lake with my kiddos...at sunset.
Because a spontaneous trip to the flea market leads to super duper cheap vintage finds.
Because summer fades...and gives way to fall...and that means camping on the lake. And pumpkin butter.
Because fall is not complete without our annual LCA {homeschool tutorial} camping trip.
Because some friendships started in the 2nd grade...and are still going strong.
Because every fall we take part in the Junior Docent program at The Hermitage...home of President Andrew Jackson.
Because he is the only kid I have left that does not think he is too cool.
Because every now and then...I get lucky enough to capture a moment like this.
Tyler and his sheepish grin.
Maggie and her infectious smile.
And Aidan...my one of a kind Aidan... being one of a kind Aidan.
Because one day...they will be grown and gone {I will have no choice but to get a lap dog}...and this is all I will have left.
This is why I blog.
Remind me.
"My every mortal breath, is Grace and nothing less"
